4.10.09

Remembering...today is a day for remembering. Today it has been 4 months since our baby boy was born with his angel wings. In some ways it seems like yesterday, in other ways it seems like a lifetime ago. We are now officially at the point that he has been in Heaven longer than he was with us. That's a difficult thing to realize.

This week has been a pretty emotional week. It seems I was doing better for a while, but as we get closer to the due date.....my heart and mind have been heavy. There are reminders all the time that we won't be bringing home our beautiful baby boy in 7 short weeks (or 4 weeks as my babies have all come 3 weeks early). Every month there is a reminder (which just happens to come at the end of the month when we should be celebrating being another month closer to our baby instead of dealing with mother nature's "monthly visits" - why does our body play such horrible tricks on our mind??). There is a reminder every time my precious 2 1/2 year old son proclaims "Baby Jon in mommy's tummy" and gets very upset and insists even harder when we try to explain that Baby Jon is an Angel in Heaven. There's a reminder every Wednesday at 5:30 pm and every 10th of every month that yet another week/month has separated us even further from our baby, on this earth but not in our hearts.

I have been making some plans for May 30th. I want that day to be a day of celebration and love, not just tears and sadness (because oh will there be a lot of those). I have the hope that maybe once that day has come and gone, things will finally get easier. Maybe. Hopefully. Doubtful. We miss and love you baby Jon.

Jon Aaron Brudvig
December 10, 2008
5:30 pm

Susan