Friday, February 20, 2009

Life is Good

So I'm sitting at home on this Friday evening, with all of my family plus one (Savannah is having a sleepover). I'm watching Wonder Pets about a Baby Unicorn that is stuck in a tree (if you haven't seen this show, you should check it out, it's pretty entertaining for adults and kids both!) And I can't help but think how I wouldn't want it to be any other way. It seems there aren't enough days in the month, week, year, where we are all at home not having anything pressing to do, besides relax and do whatever we want. I treasure these days. We are always so busy and need to find more time to just be with each other.

Speaking of which, I am now going to enjoy the next episode of Wonder Pets with the most handsome boy in the world (besides his dad). This time they're going to save a Baby Penguin that is stuck on an iceberg....wonder how they're going to do it's with Team Work!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My boy Chance

I know that every parent thinks their child is the smartest in the world....but I truly think my son is a genius! :) I don't remember my girls (ages 12 and 10) knowing half the things my not even 2 1/2 year old does. How many 2 1/2 year olds know ALL their colors (pink, purple, white, everything not just the primary colors), can recognize most of his ABC's and can sing the ABC song, knows all of his numbers, and shapes too? I've always known he's smart but last night, he did something that really amazed me. His grandma bought him a wooden puzzle a week ago (the kid LOVES puzzles). This particular puzzle has 10 different cars, different shapes, colors, with the numbers 1-10 on them. The numbers on the car are in no particular order, #10 is way up at the top, #2 down in the right corner, #4 in the middle, etc. If one of the cars is not in it's place, he knows what number is missing just by the shape of the outline, and let me tell you, the shapes of the cars are NOT that different. I most certainly cannot tell the difference, I'm not sure how he can. Last night, we discovered that he even knows what number belongs to each car, just by looking at the blank back side of each shape. It's almost scary! It's almost like he's savant, without any 'social' issues....

On a more 'regular' 2 1/2 year old update, he started sleeping in a 'Big Boy Bed' this weekend and has been doing great. Now if we could just get that potty training thing down!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Baby Jon

December 9th and 10th, 2008, have been the two most difficult days of my life thus far. Aaron and I decided this past summer that it was time to have one more Brudvig in this world. I wasn't too sure I was ready to have another "Crazy" Chance running around our house, but after lots of thinking (and considering my old age!) I figured now was as good a time as any. We were pregnant shortly after and everything was going just as planned. We had even timed the pregnancy so that I would have all of next summer off.....due May 30th, planned to take 3 months off, perfect.

At our regular doctor's appointment on December 9th, our world came crashing down on us. We were going in for a regular appointment, having no symptoms or signs of what was to come. I thank the Good Lord every day that due to some schedule changes, Aaron was at the appointment with me. Little did I know how much I was going to need him there. We did all the usual things you do at your OB appointments, get weighed, chat with the doctor about what tests they are going to do that day, etc. Then it was time to listen to the heartbeat. Our doctor was having a tough time finding the heartbeat with the doppler thing, which he said wasn't uncommon at almost 16 weeks only because they move around so much so it's hard to find the baby. So he decided to do an ultrasound. Not worried or concerned at this point. When he couldn't find the heartbeat abdominally, he decided to do a vaginal ultrasound. Getting a little concerned at this point but still have no clue what is coming; oblivious that something like this could happen to 'me'. Then the unthinkable happened. Our doctor said something along the lines of 'I'm sorry, but I can't find a heartbeat'....What?? What exactly does that mean?? How could that be? I just felt the baby moving (I later learned that women can have 'fantom' movements for several weeks/months after the death of a baby - which I did...why does our body do such horrible things to our mind??)....Still not fully comprehending.....No mother (or father) should ever have to hear those words. For those of you who have, I am truly sorry. For the rest of you, I hope you never will.

Our doctor then sent us to the Radiology department to have yet another ultrasound just to be 100% sure. It was like time was standing still for me, our world as we knew it had ended, but everybody else was continuing on. I remember looking at everyone in the waiting room on the way back to talk to the doctor, with tears running down my face, wanting to scream 'How can you people just sit there??? We just found out our baby died!!' We discussed with our doctor 'our options' and considering we were well past our 1st trimester, the safest route was to be induced. I think our doctor called it 'medically managing my miscarriage'. Wow. How your life can change in just a few short hours. We were scheduled to be at the hospital the next day at 6 am.

We got to the hospital the next morning, and the doctor gave me some medicine to start my labor. The nurses had told us that since my body wasn't 'ready' to have this baby, it may take longer than normal. They were right. My longest labor up to this point had been 4 hours. My labor with Jon was 10 1/2 hours. As you can imagine, that was the longest and most horrible day of our lives....waiting all those hours, knowing what the final outcome was going to be. One thing that was very important to Aaron and me, was if we were going to be able to determine the sex of the baby. The doctor and nurses all told us that at 16 weeks, it would be nearly impossible to tell. They said we could do some genetic testing, by sending the baby to a lab in Minneapolis, but even that wouldn't be 100% sure. We asked everyone who came to our room that day, hoping for a different answer, but they all said the same thing. Thankfully they were all wrong.

Jon Aaron was born with his angel wings at 5:30 pm on December 10th, 2008. He was an absolutely perfectly shaped little boy with all of his body parts, even his boy parts. He was very, very small. The entire length of his body from head to toe was the length of my index finger. After he was born, the nurse said 'ok, get out your camera and take some pictures.' What?? We were not in the frame of mind to be bringing along a camera. And even if we had thought of it, wasn't sure that we would want one. But our nurse knew better so off she went to find us a disposable camera. I will forever be eternally grateful to her for that. I cherish those pictures. She also got us some very tiny plaster foot and hand molds of our little guy. Aaron and I were able to spend a few hours holding him, telling him how much we and his siblings loved him and were going to miss him. We were even able to have him baptized.

Baby Jon, we all love and miss you so terribly much. But I know that you are with God in Heaven playing with the other little angels and looking down on us. One day, mommy and daddy and your big sisters and brother will join you, and we can all play together. We love you baby boy.

Love, mommy